You might shake your head with painful memories of large dollar amounts lost, and swear on a stack of Bibles that you’ll never again be foolish sufficient to engage in a shoot-out with the One-Armed Bandit, but who are you kidding? Maybe, with a little luck, you will be able to resist the call of the slot machine for a number of weeks, perhaps even a month or two. But you know damn well that you will be back for a rematch sooner or later. You can not just let that Bandit win so quickly, can you? No way.
It’s just a machine, after all, with a “brain” comprised of wires and microchips. You, at the same time, are a living, breathing entity with the capacity for critical thinking and self-reflection. If humankind is to have any hope at all in surviving the global war against machines that surely will come some day, we would better at least be able to beat the slots. Think of the matter in this particular sort of sweeping historical context and you shall see that it is not simply a choice but an obligation that you should get back on the horse as quickly as possible.
Before launching on your noble quest in defense of humanity, it might be wise to review some basic information and arm yourself with five crucial tips to success.
You could not know that the slot machine goes on different names in overseas nations. By way of example, in the United Kingdom, it really is called a fruit machine (no jokes about British drag queens, please.) In Australia, the slot is described as a “poker machine,” which is much more confusing, but what can you expect from a culture that gives outdoor grills the name of a little girl’s toy? (Let it sink in for a minute, you certainly will get it.)
Anyway, traditional American slot machines are coin-operated and contain three or even more reels, which spin any time a lever on the side of the equipment is pulled. The machines include a currency detector that validates the money inserted to play. The equipment typically pays off determined by patterns of symbols visible in the event the reels stop.
OK, enough for the description. In essence, onto those tips that were promised a couple of paragraphs ago:
Become intimately acquainted with each slot machine’s payout schedule. Two identical quality online slot gambling site machines will often have radically different payouts. This matters, people.
Look for advertised slot machines offering 96-98% paybacks. Most casinos usually have a couple of banks or carousels of high percentage payback slots, and this is in which you should play.
Join the casino players club wherever you gamble regularly. Casinos reward players for money and time spent. Even when you don’t hit the jackpot, you could still receive comps like meals, discount hotel rooms, and other perks.
This certainly will be a no-brainer, but only play the slot machines you can afford and only spend cash you may risk losing. Seriously.
Walk away when you are losing and become irritated. Playing slot machines is supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, not a source of ulcer-inducing frustration. When it’s no longer fun, go get a drink and some fresh air.